You guys have to read this post...I was going to "Cut and Paste" it into here, but I am afraid that there could be some kind of liability... I have played with Capt. Tom before and he seemed like a nice guy...This post is from Brandi Hawbaker...
http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopic-31563-0.html
Hers is the 2nd post...
What gives?
"And this one time...at Band Camp" American Pie
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13 comments:
http://www.worldseriesofpoker.com/winaseat.asp
All I want is 1% of your winnings if you win this free seat. Follow the link fools. Gene you might want to repaste this as an entry.
Or put it on the GCP website once it's up and running.
Yea GeneD that story is like 6 months old. I dont doubt Capt Tom is a dirty ole sleazebag and even if everything in her story is true that shady bitch deserves it. She is no better than a prostitute except when a hooker robs you she at least gave you sex and not the promise of it. She pussy rolled one hit wondernerd Mark Newhouse for 30k out of an online account. There are several "pieces of ass" out there with average poker skills literally getting dopes with bankrolls to fund them. This skank Brandi is the worst, she actually used this story to get sympathy from more suckers and it worked. "My BMW got reposessed" WAHHHH! Blow me you sperm whale! She had posted how she wished she could get guys to stake her like Chantel, another bloodsucker just hotter. If that doesnt say it all. If yall want to hear her lie on video check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLoxXVJ4lCY
This cunt claims she has risen up from all the bad things that happen to her and turned 1k into 200k playing cash games. LOL, that emotional wreck I have seen blow up at every pot she lost. Thanks for getting my blood boiling GeneD I can go cut my yard now.
"If you were to meet two people named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think really loved dolphins? You would think it was Flippy right? I did. You would be wrong though, its Hambone."
Jack Handey
Great story, read it a few months ago, but thanks for the memories. Captainstacks thanks for thr youtube update, first time to see it. Never have gotten the pleasure of playing cards with Mrs. Hawbaker (I would have took her bankroll, she is 100% fish) but i was able to party with her a few nights. Last July I spent two weeks at vegas and was staying at the Hard Rock Casino, ( If you never partied here you have to go, nothing but hot MEE YOW, if you know what i mean) and she is is a party girl. I started off by buying her drinks drinks and before the night was over she was feeding me shooters. Don't know whose money she was spending, but i didn't give a Rat's Ass. Well, the night comes to end, (well at least in the barroom) can't go into detail, but anyay the next morning, i am grabbing a bite to eat and she walks up and doesn't even remeber who I am. I look at her and say " Hey just waking up?" She looks at me like do I know you? I just grab my food, look at her and laugh as i start to walk away. Well she is sitting two tables away from me with some guy and as i finish eating I decide to go tell her a little something. I walk up to her just to give her thanks for the free drinks that she was drowning me with the night before. Once, again I get the look like who are the fuck are you, you lotlizard. That is when i just smile at her and say "If you play poker as good as you suck *^@#, I'll see you at the final table of the WSOP. Wth a quick wink of the left eye, I smile and walk away as she gives them i want to kick your ass eyes.
You can't fault Captain Tom for crawling in bed with his WANKER on her back. He might be a little shady but she is no choir girl her self.
" I know you are drunk, just shut up and like you are blowing on a saxaphone"
Bubble Boy
Bubbleboy, I realize that you probably didnt know Brandi was a psyco slut from Hades but spending the night with her was like calling off your stack with Ace high. I understand that she looks like some high grade nanny but your lucky you didnt get robbed or cut up or something.
I wasnt going to talk about this but since you opened up bubbleboy, ill get this off my chest. I was playing 5-10 at The Bellagio last April while at the table I was peering into the high stakes room. All the usual legends were playing the Brunsons ,Juanda,Ivey, Hansen,ect. I noticed this sexy thing in a slinky top playing with Todd Brunsons pony tail. I continued playing poker and time to time checking out the interesting scene in the glass room. Now I am having a great time, im in Vegas up about 6k in the game and I got a nice buzz from my martinis(i also have a great table image). Hour or so goes by and I see the hot chick walk out the room and it looks like she is crying. Me being a caring gentleman and shit I decide to follow her to see if she wants to talk. She heads towards a bar as I casually walk over to her to ask if she was ok and could I buy her a drink. She dried hers tears and said "yes thank you." She told me how she was broke from bad beats and men stealing her bankroll. Inside I was like, yea whatever ho, I just wanna tap that. She smelled like an expensive French whore. We proceed to talk about poker and she seemed like she was pretty poker savvy. My friend since birth Chub E. Wanker and I decide to stake her 1k in the 5-10 game I was in. She gets her (i mean my ) stack up to 1700 at one point before exploding on her own ,bluffing away chips and finally busting while being a rude bitch at the table. Im already in for 1k for this skank so I decide to cut my losses and get Brandi Rose to my room. She actually started begging me to put her back in the game but I told her she needed a break and i promised I would bankroll her all week. Boy did her eyes light up. I knew she played me for a total sucker but I knew that cunt wasnt getting another dime. We get up to the room and start getting nasty. Bubbleboy, as im sure you can attest that is one fuureeek! She starts telling me that if I really stake her in tourneys I can put Chub in her ass. I normally wouldnt post the nasty details but i feel it is necessary here. The martinis were giving me a problem with the bone zone and fighting the condom. She took off her panties and there was a bomb of stinch that was fo foul I puked in my own mouth. It was like hot garbage with fish heads. I told her to get fuck out skunk twat! She went batshit on me.But I lived to tell the tale.
Pretty embarrassing but 100% true
"One day I will fly" - Brandi Hawbaker
WOW STACKS, GREAT STORY AND BELIVE YOU 100%, SHE IS ONE CRAZY BITCH, I AM JUST GLAD I DIDN'T GIVE THAT BITCH A DIME. EXCEPT FOR THE FEW DRINKS I BOUGHT HER IT WAS A FREE DEAL. DAMN SHE LOOKS LIKE A HOT CHICK BUT I GUESS THE GOODS DOWN LOW ARE NOT TO BE MESSED WITH. THANK GOD THAT NIGHT I JUST PLAYED POCKET POOL, WITH HER MOUTH BEING THE POCKET AND MY LITTLE FRIND MR. WIGGLES BEING THE POOL STICK, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT. THAT BEING SAID, THAT BITCH CAN SUCK LIKE A 600 HORSEPOWER RAINBOW VACCUM CLEANER.
" FILL MY MOUTH LIKE A CHRISTMAS STOCKING ON CHRISTMAS EVE"
GUEST WHO?
Yea Captain Tom looked like a perfect target for Ms. Brandi Rose. She knew he liked the young tight stuff with that little hooker he drags around impersonating his daughter. What a perfect match Captain Creepo and Princess Parasite. I hope that story is true, lmao he took 12k from her. How classic is that, a con getting conned. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 2. That sheweasel is such a name dropper too.
"Got a little Captain in ya?" - Captain Tom
guys, come on she can't be that bad. I saw the video on YouTube and she seemed very well mannered and a very attractive young lady. I never met her or Captain Tom, but i could see someone trying to take advantage of her because of her looks. I kinda believe what she said could be true. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt guys
"Life without poker is like a broken pencil, it has no point"
The poker Dealer at Shorty's
Dude you don't know nothing about Mrs.Hawbaker, I have met her and she ain't no joke. Mess with her and she will put something on you that paint thinner can't take off. But you are probably some computer geek with with little glasses that would do anything to be with somebody that isn't 6''4 290+.
" Man with itchy butt, have stinky finger"
Are you guys telling the truth?
Wow. I wouldn't fingerblast that trollop with Bob Dole's dead hand much less put my fonzie anywhere near her Mrs. C. If she had any pillows she might be a chestnut but that's about it. As for letting roachskeeze put her lips around me I'd probably opt for a Puerto Rican glory hole or one of Rosey O'Donnels folds--even I got unlucky and picked her wheaty gooch it'd be safer than that raunchbox. I pity you, no matter how many Martinis you drank or how much rope you pushed that's pathetic. She's a hyperdermic away from offering dirty sanchezes and donkey punches as a two dollar for tuesday twofer in a Vegas alley.
"Wheaty Gooch" -Nip and Tuck
"How do you know so much about Oops, I Crapped My Pants?"
"Because I'm wearing them and I just did."
-Farrah Fawcet and Henry Kissinger
Dont monday morning quaterback my pimp game C.S. You know if you knew nothing about that Lolita you would try to get some of that punany. Of course I would throw rotten tomatoes at her now. I feel lucky to get off so easy with that hooker. (I only wish I would have blasted my baby batter in her face like BB) There are shmucks out there now that did not get away so unscaved.Only thing I find hard to believe about bubbleboys story is that she didnt steal something or con him. He must look like Brad Pitt or something. Anything on your mind BB feel free to get it out in the open, its liberating:)
"Dont be Hatin" B-Rad - Malibus Most Wanted
One more thing I gotta mention. Captain Tom you da man! Even though you are a ole dirty skeeze. I think I am sneaking him in the top ten list of players I admire the most. All these pros she is scamming and you are the only one that made her really cry and made her feel all nasty and creepy inside, putting that old willy on her little dainty back. She is so pissed at you, I believe the real story is, you tore dat pussy up. While keeping her bankroll. lol
Kudos Captain.
"It takes a big man to cry. But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
Jack Handey
COME ON C.S. YOU WOULD HAVE TRIED TO GET YOUR ROCKS OFF IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT HER AT THE TIME. HELL I AM ON VACATION AND DRUNK AND THIS HOT LITTLE PIECE OF SKANK NANNY WANTS TO BLOW ON MY SKIN FLUTE, I AM ALL FOR IT. NO, STACKS SHE DDIDN'T GET ANY THING FROM ME EXCEPT A FACE FULL OF BABY BATTER AS YOU PUT IT. I BET IF I WOULD HAVE PASSED OUT THAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN BONE AS BROKE IN THE MORNING. BUT AS THE NIGHT WENT ON I KNEW I HAD A DOOZY ON MY HANDS AND I WASN'T GOING TO LET HER OUT MY SITE. EVEN WHEN SHE WENT TO THE BATHROOM, I WENT GRAP MY TOOTHBRUSH, (I HAVE HEARD STORIES). I AM A MAN AND I AM NOT SCARED TO SHARE MY STORIES, I ONLY HAVE ONE REGRET. I WISH I WOULD HAVE MY TURN BEFORE CAPTAIN TOM. MAYBE I WOULD HAVE HAD THAT 12,000 BANKROLL.
P.S. TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION CAPTAINSTACKS, NO I DO NOT LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT. I AM A CROSS BETWEEN DANNY DEVITO AND BILLY BOB THORTON. SO GO FIGURE?
"KID..... ARE YOU A FU#$*@ RETARD"
BILLY BOB THORTON....BAD SANTA
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